Tuesday, August 6, 2013

As much as I would love to believe there isn't; there is more discrimination within the gay community than anywhere else.

I am gay.  I dealt with that decades ago (and not well I am told).
I am HIV+, undetectable, and dealing well with that.  I have to say that I really hate seeing "ddf" in personal ads.  I also cannot understand someone intentionally wanting this virus.  As Sylvia Sidney said in 'An Early Frost,' "It's a disease, not a disgrace."
I am disabled.  I used to be able to keyboard 120 wpm, now I'm lucky to do 5 wpm.  The CT Scans and MRI's (all of which I have on CD) show that my cerebellum (which effects coordination) shrank.  The doctors still don't know why.  I have ataxia (which makes muscle control very difficult) and dysphonia.(which makes speech very difficult).  I cannot walk, as such, I am confined to a wheelchair (which, as a gay man, is very unattractive).  The wheelchair is where I face the most discrimination from the gay community.  Disabled people have sexual abilities and desires, too.  The gay community, as a whole, needs to learn that.  I had to replace my unopened condoms because they were past the expiration date.  I do pay attention to these things.  I also have a great memory.
I don't need anyone to take care of me (I do quite well on my own), but I would like someone to love.  It seems, because of my wheelchair, I am deemed unworthy of love.  The gay community applauds my being out about my HIV, but shun my wheelchair (as far as I can tell).  Please prove me wrong.  After over four years, I would openly welcome that!

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