I am begging for help, even trying crowd funding!

I am desperate and really need help.  I am severely disabled (with ataxia, among other things), due to my cerebellum shrinking, and Medicare only covers extraction and dentures (dentures are impossible to manage with Ataxia).  So, I took responsibility and got an individual dental policy through Delta Dental, at the cost of $90.39 a month.  However, they require a $500.00 once in a life time payment that I must have by the end of August for capping an $890.00 root canal (which I had to have, after a tooth broke) I paid for, out-of-pocket (which was extremely difficult), in January.  Luckily, there was no pain involved!

THIS IS NOT COSMETIC, IT IS FUNCTIONAL!

Please click this link and help.  http://gfwd.at/SL0t9L

I’m still happily alive, although I sincerely wish euthanasia were legal in New Hampshire.  After all, as an Atheist, as long as my affairs are in order, the choice should be mine.  I believe, when one has outlived their usefulness, and there are no children involved, one should be able to die.

Let me make this very clear:  I AM NOT SUICIDAL!

I do have a question for all the believers reading this, “Why would your higher power give me dysphonia, ataxia, and confine me to a wheelchair?”  Perhaps for shits and giggles.  Well, I’m not laughing.  It isn’t funny.  Your higher power (in whom I have no belief, as I don’t believe in fairy tales) is very vicious and cruel.

Again, given that no one would be hurt, it should be my right to die.

No matter what you're told, or by whom, HIV is a deadly virus.

I really get angry with people who seem to think it's OK to get HIV, because it is a chronic but manageable disease.  Diabetes is a chronic but manageable disease, and I have never met a diabetic who would willingly transfer diabetes to anyone else.  I wish I could say the same for HIV!


Between "bug chasers" and "gift givers", it's no fucking wonder we can't get to zero!  I no longer care about political correctness, offending anyone, or appealing to the masses.  WAKE UP FOLKS!  HIV IS A DEADLY VIRUS, not a gift!


You should worry about getting it!  Having HIV is not attractive and not a club you want to join.


People may disagree with me, but it's time we, as human beings, grew up and stopped bitching and moaning.

I've always been a loner and liked it.

Though self discovery, I have discovered that I have always been a loner and liked it!

When I was a boy, every weekend I would go on an all day bicycle ride to get away from (or escape from) my four siblings, my parents, and my grandmother at home.

I didn't start smoking to belong.  Though, I am a smoker.

I've never had a relationship that lasted more than 16 months.  Usually, I ended them, afraid of getting trapped.  I always sabotaged them.

Seems to me, I highly value my privacy, but I will answer any question I'm asked, and I always answer in a friendly way.  This has me very confused.

I am not a mean person.  People generally like me.

I am 49, like living alone, but am more than willing to move in with anyone to help them out.  I've done it many times in my life.

Happy 2014 to everyone!

I welcome any and all comments.

My first video chat

Today, 12/24/13, I lost my video chat virginity!  After some adjustments, even though due to dysphonia, I can't talk well, I did enjoy it!

Siblings

I have four siblings (I am the fourth of five children).  Three I don't know and one I know and don't like.
I had to ask myself, "If I didn't share DNA (and parents) with these people, would I be at all interested in them and their lives?"
The answer is, "No.  I wouldn't."
They are siblings, not family,  Family is there to accept your love and care about you.  My siblings do neither in my life, so contrary to how my parents raised us, my siblings are NOT my family.
I used to think that was very sad because it is contrary to how I was raised by my parents.  So, is being openly homosexual. 
Now I have to feel this way for my life to go forward with a degree of inner piece that I need to keep living.
Contrary to how my parents raised us, and in spite of my numerous and witnessed efforts over the years, my siblings are no closer to me than strangers. 
I have not been hiding and the three I don't know have not tried to contact me.  Perhaps, their feelings are the same as mine.

As much as I would love to believe there isn't; there is more discrimination within the gay community than anywhere else.

I am gay.  I dealt with that decades ago (and not well I am told).
I am HIV+, undetectable, and dealing well with that.  I have to say that I really hate seeing "ddf" in personal ads.  I also cannot understand someone intentionally wanting this virus.  As Sylvia Sidney said in 'An Early Frost,' "It's a disease, not a disgrace."
I am disabled.  I used to be able to keyboard 120 wpm, now I'm lucky to do 5 wpm.  The CT Scans and MRI's (all of which I have on CD) show that my cerebellum (which effects coordination) shrank.  The doctors still don't know why.  I have ataxia (which makes muscle control very difficult) and dysphonia.(which makes speech very difficult).  I cannot walk, as such, I am confined to a wheelchair (which, as a gay man, is very unattractive).  The wheelchair is where I face the most discrimination from the gay community.  Disabled people have sexual abilities and desires, too.  The gay community, as a whole, needs to learn that.  I had to replace my unopened condoms because they were past the expiration date.  I do pay attention to these things.  I also have a great memory.
I don't need anyone to take care of me (I do quite well on my own), but I would like someone to love.  It seems, because of my wheelchair, I am deemed unworthy of love.  The gay community applauds my being out about my HIV, but shun my wheelchair (as far as I can tell).  Please prove me wrong.  After over four years, I would openly welcome that!